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Why most married couples are dissatisfied with their marriages after having children

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According to studies on marital satisfaction, having children makes couples less content.

Studies show that new parents frequently have negative feelings towards their partners within the first year after giving birth.

What causes this, besides weariness and lack of sleep?

1. Women bear the grunt of housekeeping and childcare

Whether or not they are working mothers, studies have shown that mothers give more child care than fathers do.

After having children, mothers frequently experience increased levels of marital discontent due to the added duties of childcare, employment, and domestic duties. They consequently believe their marriages are unfair and one-sided.

2. Lack of sex

Lack of closeness and sex may be another factor contributing to marital discontent. A married couple’s sexual life typically takes off after giving birth. Six weeks after giving birth, women can have sex, but they might not be ready for penetrating intercourse for up to a year. To get used to a new body, habit, and baby, it takes time.

Women who have recently given birth and are currently nursing need time to recover. Low estrogen levels also cause them to have dry vagina.

3. Overbearing mothers

Because they think they are better parents, some mothers control how their partners engage with their children; this can make their husbands resentful. Sociologists refer to this behavior as “maternal gatekeeping”.

For childcare responsibilities to be evenly distributed, mothers need to allow fathers to handle tasks their way, even if it differs from their approach, as long as the child’s safety is not compromised.

How to make marriages more content
Distribute the duties.
It is preferable to distribute parental obligations and child care in a way that feels fair rather than equal.

For instance, if one partner has a longer work week than the other, they will probably spend less time on chores around the house and with the kids. Nevertheless, regardless of who works more, it is more crucial for them to share parental duties and domestic chores. For instance, the person who prepares breakfast shouldn’t also bathe the baby.

Put intimacy first, not sex.
Penetrative sex is crucial, but if your partner isn’t ready for sex after giving birth, there are lots of other ways to be intimate with them. Intimacy can be created through kissing, cuddling, holding hands, hugging, touching, fondling, and sucking. What sexual demands or erogenous zones does your spouse have? Are you paying attention to your partner’s needs that are not sexual? Whatever it takes, maintain the sexual ember.

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